“Jesus Not Coming Back By The Looks Of It” Admits Vatican

catholic bishops.

A SPOKESPERSON for the Vatican has officially announced today that the second coming of Jesus, the only son of the God, may not happen now after all, but urged followers to still continue with their faith, regardless of the news.

Cardinal Giorgio Salvadore told WWN that this years 1,981st anniversary is to be the Vatican’s last in regards to waiting for the Lord to return to Earth.

“We just feel Jesus is not coming back by the looks of it.” he said. “It’s been ages like. He’s probably flat out doing other really good things for people somewhere else.”

Nearly two thousand years ago, Jesus promised his disciples that he would come again in chapter John 14:1-3 of the bible: “There are many homes up where my Father lives, and I am going to prepare them for your coming. When everything is ready, then I will come and get you, so that you can always be with Me where I am. If this weren’t so, I would tell you plainly”

The Vatican defended Jesus’ broken promise, claiming “he was probably drinking wine” at the time when he made the comments.

“Having the ability to turn water into wine had its ups and its downs.” added Cardinal Salvadore. “We all make promises we can’t keep when we’re drunk. Jesus was no different.”

The church said it will now focus attentions on rebuilding its reputation around the world, but will keep an optimistic mind for the savior’s second coming.



3 thoughts on ““Jesus Not Coming Back By The Looks Of It” Admits Vatican

  1. The bible is clear about the second coming of Jesus Christ…and is clear about the conditions that needs to be fulfilled before His second coming. The scriptures is also clear about the Present Ministry of Jesus Christ at the Right Hand of the Father – making intercession for the saints. The Hope of His coming cannot be taken away from Christians…We patiently look forward to the blessed hope of the return of Our Lord and Savior Jesus.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Well, your hope is not on jesus or god but those tyrant men who wrote and compile the bible. Human beings created god to gain power over ignorant who have no idea of how to live their life but rely on someone to tell them who or not to worship. You don’t need priest or bishops but your own self. Rely on reason and not by faith!


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